“Dating apps put you in this mindset of disposability,” says Zach M., 29, a Boston-based startup employee who has used dating apps for two years.
“It’s like I can’t go on a date anymore without thinking there might be someone better.” Many people cringe at the prospect of explaining that they met their significant other online.
“Tinder’s hypnotic allure borrows from the same psychological process that addictively draws people to play slot machines,” writes Ross Rosenberg, L. “Tinder and slot machines similarly draw us in because of the potential for instant gratification.” You’re busy, and dating apps are designed to manipulate your attention so you can’t focus on anything else.
If you want to impress a woman, spend those 90 minutes learning another language. “We found that being actively involved with Tinder, regardless of the user’s gender, was associated with body dissatisfaction,” Strübel told the American Psychological Association.
That same year, the dating app Hinge reported that 87% of its users are open to a relationship, and 45% are exclusively looking for a long-term relationship.
In 2014, Tinder reported that the average user logs in 11 times per day, spending up to 90 minutes per day swiping. C., a psychotherapist who specializes in addiction.
And there I was: a young woman quitting Tinder because she found the emotional commitment overwhelming. My dates must’ve given me a false impression of modern single guys in general—right?A set of 24 potential partners sounds like a can’t-miss, but online daters were more satisfied when choosing from a set of just six.Casting a wide net may seem like a good dating strategy, but research shows that oversupply can leave us unhappy.(Trust me: Smart, funny, and full of coyote facts, Keith is a catch.) But he didn’t match with anyone, and the process made him feel worse.“Every time I swiped it was like, ‘Well, I’m not with this girl. Or this girl.’ It makes you feel lonely.” And he’s not alone in that loneliness—54% of singles on Hinge report feeling lonely after swiping on dating apps.Here are five reasons why you might swipe left on dating apps altogether—and why those reasons are perfectly valid.