There are a lot of men out there far worse than me.
I am doing the best I can, I’ve just got a lot going on. If X would just lighten up a bit, stop busting my balls, and appreciate what she’s got, I might just think about getting serious with her…” In amongst his various behaviours, Mr Unavailable tend to have a stock of women on tap, or what some readers refer to as a Narcissistic Harem.
I would certainly seek some form of counselling and even as a first port of call, visit the NPD group.
Whatever you do, don’t run home and tell him that he’s a narcissist — you have no idea how he will react and it could even be dangerous.
When it comes to all of the relationship advice questions received, this ranks near the top.
If you’re honest with yourself, you will admit that you have asked yourself this before.
It likely started in middle school, when the boy across the street was suddenly cute and he seemed to like you…
In , I describe in depth ten core behaviours of Mr Unavailable that allow him to do exactly as he pleases and keep himself emotionally distant.
What’s the difference between an emotionally unavailable man and a narcissist? Expects unreasonable or special and favourable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations.
A thin line and someone defining it, but there is a line there nonetheless. Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions). Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation. Is “interpersonally exploitative”, i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends 7. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others 8.
I think that some women find it quite easy to casually pin this clinical term to their men because it gives a ‘medical’ reason, which implies that it’s out of his control, which in implies that it’s out of control, which leads back to the tried and tested route of making excuses for remaining invested.
What I will say though as a word of warning, is that Mr Unavailables tend to numb you to inappropriate behaviour which means that at some point you may unknowingly find yourself with a narcissist.