We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.
We’re often scared (even if nothing has actually happened yet with a particular person) that we may be letting our last chance or even best chance saloon slip away.It was shortly after that bomb, that it dawned on me that Mrs. The guy she was having an affair with, dumped her, and went back to his wife.I helped her through the “breakup,” her separation, helping her negotiate a property settlement, and even paying for her attorney. I always said I did not want to have a fling with her and ruin our incredible friendship, and that if we dated, I did not want to be her first, but rather her last first date.I told her that I truly desired a relationship whereby we actively supported, encouraged, and motivated to bring out the best in each other.However, I knew that, if I saw her dating other guys, it would be really kind of weird and difficult for me.What we forget is that even if a person hasn’t just exited a relationship, aside from knowing our own boundaries (which can rule out certain things that we’ve already made a decision on in advance of), we cannot get all of the answers upfront or have someone tell us what ‘the ending’ will be.