I was discovering which conversations worked better than others and was able to avoid bumps in the conversation all together.
The confusion of first-dates was disappearing altogether. I hadn’t even thought that having fun could be a part of online dating but as I grew more comfortable, I had more fun.
I still wasn’t the most confident guy (for example, I still wasn’t randomly asking girls out in public) but I was becoming very comfortable on dates, which gave the appearance of confidence. Less Stress With dating multiple women, there was always another first date on the horizon. I lost my hell-bent desire to make every date go perfectly.
When the stress lessened, I stopped paying attention to myself and started paying attention to my date.
It always felt like starting all over and was always painful.
Once I even continued to date a girl just to avoid “starting over”.
There were several side-effects to this, aside from a busier schedule, that make me now believe this is the best way to approach online dating: 1.Using my original method for dating (one girl a month at best), my odds of meeting that special someone were very low and theoretically it would have taken a long time to meet her. The issue here is the length of time only identifies part of the problem as it assumes that the “match” won’t move on to something else: a new job that she wouldn’t have been taken had she been in a relationship, settling for someone just to not be alone, etc.Taking too long doesn’t just mean you’re looking longer. I believe that dating many people improves your chances in two ways: you have a better chance of meeting someone who you are looking for but you also potentially avoid missing out on someone who may move on if you never get around to meeting in the first place.I would continue to date someone negative or rude or conceited and would just hope that things would just eventually “work themselves out”.All this changed when my dating schedule became very active.This freedom allowed me to finally be honest with myself about what I was looking for.