A foreign “Lost Boy” who speaks no English but who’s fluent in the language of love, which turns out to be a mixture of Hungarian, French, and the vocal equivalent of Comic Sans.
Adelbert is currently hiding at the departures gate.
If you’re a lady, you’ll not only have to reach out to your match first, you’ll also have to actually find him.
Like, hunt him down, and figure out if he’s even a real person.
And, while it’s safe to say that Ted has sexual chemistry with all three of his hot lady roommates, he has sexual desires for none of them. Once you find Ted, it’ll be your responsibility to make him feel sexually and creatively fulfilled again.
And, although you can’t totally understand what he’s saying, you think it’s something along the lines of “democracy is for sure dead.” Since you’ll never be able to convince Adelbert that four years of Donald Trump’s tweets are worth sticking around for, you’ll need to help him find a souvenir to remember that not everything in America is bad. A familiar looking “Lost Boy” who you sort of knew during college and who you never thought about until you ran into him on this dumb dating app.
Mike is much older than you which means he knows what he wants and what he wants is a divorce from his wife Lisa.
Once you find Mike, it’ll be your job to help him get one.
A trendy “Lost Boy” who knows nothing, but is an expert in everything.
Bryan is currently hiding at your local independently owned coffee shop where he loves to hold up the line as he schools the barista in all the things he’s an expert in, like the Syrian refugee crisis and the best live recordings of jazz musician Dizzy Gillespie.