If you’re both emotionally available and truly get to know one another to create true intimacy, not the ‘limited connection’ generated by emotional unavailability, you can find chemistry across all areas instead of cherry picking the ‘easy’ stuff.Even if you have emotional, spiritual and sexual chemistry, if you don’t share similar values, your relationship will struggle and you are very likely incompatible unless you can find a way to compromise.Much like how your relationships, your self-esteem and basically life in general is very reflective of your beliefs, the ‘chemistry’ you feel is a reflection.If you’ve ever had a parent who abused alcohol or drugs and have felt ‘impossibly’ drawn to someone who also abuses these, you can see how the ‘chemistry’ that you feel is intwertwined with how you feel about you, love, and relationships, and that actually, you’re experiencing the comfort of familiarity, even though it’s unhealthy.
Many of us are damn scared of challenging our beliefs plus we are also and often entirely unaware of the impact of quiet, hidden beliefs.
It’s also safe to say that often when you feel that you’re compatible, you may actually be compatible for the .
This is why it feels ‘right’ even when it seems so ‘wrong’ and why you’re still banking on that emotionally unavailable or assclown ‘somebody’ who you had so much ‘chemistry’ with…you just couldn’t string a relationship together.
When I met or spoke with any of these people after we’d dated, the ‘chemistry’ was dead in the water and it was hard to imagine what we had in common.
Once I realised that I too was emotionally unavailable and started demanding of myself to become available, when I met people who I would previously have been quite content to languish around in an ambiguous relationship for a time, I found myself rather non-plussed.