titled Nancy Jo Sales’s article on dating apps “Tinder and the Dawn of the ‘Dating Apocalypse’” and I thought it again this month when Hinge, another dating app, advertised its relaunch with a site called “thedatingapocalypse.com,” borrowing the phrase from Sales’s article, which apparently caused the company shame and was partially responsible for their effort to become, as they put it, a “relationship app.”Despite the difficulties of modern dating, if there is an imminent apocalypse, I believe it will be spurred by something else.
I don’t believe technology has distracted us from real human connection.
Each person felt like a real possibility, rather than an abstraction.
The first Tinder date I ever went on, in 2014, became a six-month relationship. In late 2014 and early 2015, I went on a handful of decent dates, some that led to more dates, some that didn’t—which is about what I feel it’s reasonable to expect from dating services.
A great career in marketing starting, a return to my home town (Bay Area! Oh, and a four year degree from a good school was a perk too. No one reminds you that post-college, you may like to “think” you will reconnect with your High School friends, but that was a world away. Sure, they are great for networking, but even in a major city like San Francisco I found opportunities to meet people few and fleeting.
San Francisco in particular is unique because of the tech boom.
Hyde has been using dating apps and sites on and off for six years.“But on the other hand, Tinder just doesn’t feel efficient.I’m pretty frustrated and annoyed with it because it feels like you have to put in a lot of swiping to get like one good date.”I have a theory that this exhaustion is making dating apps worse at performing their function.I don’t believe hookup culture has infected our brains and turned us into soulless sex-hungry swipe monsters. It doesn’t do to pretend that dating in the app era hasn’t changed. Tinder arrived in 2012, and nipping at its heels came other imitators and twists on the format, like Hinge (connects you with friends of friends), Bumble (women have to message first), and others.Older online dating sites like OKCupid now have apps as well.Maybe everyone who’s on Tinder now are like the last people at the party trying to go home with someone.”Now that the shine of novelty has worn off these apps, they aren’t fun or exciting anymore. There’s a sense that if you’re single, and you don’t want to be, you need to something to change that.