Worse, other men might push back, trying to shore up their man-cred at the expense of yours.
It can be hard, even for guys who want a closer friendship, to deliberately lower one’s guard and not lash out from sheer instinct rather than consciously rejecting someone. Better to get drunk first, so at least you can blame your sudden shameful lack of masculinity on the alcohol.
Plus, when you have people you can turn to, you’re more likely to seek out help when things are hard and you don’t feel like you can go on.
People who have more friends also had lower blood-pressure, lower levels of cholesterol and overall greater quality of life.
Weakness and vulnerability can only be shown to those who are not in a position to damage our status in the masculine hierarchy. And to be sure: to an outside observer (or a significant other, for that matter) many platonic male-female relationships can seem like an intensely romantic connection, even when they’re nothing of the sort. But even then, it’s transitory, even suspect at best, because straight men “inevitably” want to sleep with their female friends. complete with the same prohibitions against masculine affection).
As a result: we aren’t able to other men enough to open up to them.
And it doesn’t help that we have precious few societal models for male intimacy that isn’t overtly romantic or played for bad comedy Sure,you’re allowed to let your guard down if you’ve fought Nazis together or are part of a criminal organization. So, many times are going to have to be the example of how you want others to respond to you. You have to be willing to put yourself out there and be comfortable with letting yourself be vulnerable, with the expectation that there will be people who will misunderstand what you’re doing.
You have to signal your openness and make the first move and model the behavior you want from them in return. You’ll need to expect people will think that you’re coming on to them.
Even in this day and age with greater acceptance of homosexuality, straight men , knawhuimmsayin? And I don’t mean someone you game with or go out on the town or the ever classic “help you move bodies”. Having few intimate friends is quite literally dangerous to your health.How many of you have a friend – or several friends – who you can go to when you need help. Studies have found that people with fewer close friends tended to have a greater risk of death.Just as with romantic relationships, you’ll have to be willing to communicate your needs and explain how you feel and what you want. You’ll feel like you’re the only one out there who feels this way.People who you thought were your friends may pull back because they can’t handle that level of openness and honesty.In fact, social isolation is actually as bad for you as smoking. A lack of close friends – not people you chat with on Facebook or social media or the guys you hang out with at work, but close friends – correlates to increased levels of depression and increased levels of stress.