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In another pattern commonly associated with sexual abuse, the child is elevated into the parental hierarchy and the system stabilized through role reversal.

The child may thus be either covertly allied with one parent against the other, or parentified and obliged to care for a parent suffering from alcoholism, depression, or another disability.

The family is not as stable internally as it appears on the outside.

The mother with an unresolved history of incest with her own father (and possibly with a brother as well) may be unable to prevent an incestuous relationship between her husband and daughter.Chapter 3 – Dynamics of Abuse and the Incestuous Family page 40 The "normal-appearing" family, as the name implies, is just that.From the outside, the family appears to be solid and well-functioning.Not infrequently, they have developed work and social schedules which allow them to avoid interacting with one another on much more than a superficial level.Alcoholism or other shame-based problems are often in evidence and contribute to the barren emotional family climate.Triangulation occurs because child protection and caretaking functions in a particular family are weak and the children are used both to shore up the parents' self-esteem and to compensate for their marital estrangement.

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